Dreaming of Death

Death has always been one of the biggest fears in my life. Whether its being worried about accidents happening at home, or dreaming of myself being chased. But last night i experienced a whole new level.. Dreaming myself watching a video recording of a love one getting killed in a freak accident.. And in that video recording, he was actually in the middle of saying his thoughts & feelings to me.. I freaked out and woke up crying.. And then throughout the entire day i just felt really sad, really scared, really bothered by the dream. Putting aside the real meaning of all these weird dreams, and whatever they are actually trying to tell you.. How do you feel, when you know that someone you love is dying soon?

Sadly for me, everything that came to my mind were regrets, regrets, and more regrets. I realized that i had been so focused on dwelling on all the things that made me upset, whether its things that people didn't do for me, things that i felt were unfair towards me, or things that i want but can never have. And i never stopped to appreciate the people around me who listened to me rant, cry and kick a huge fuss. I often forget about the goodwill my close ones have for me even when they have to advise me otherwise, and even blame them for not supporting instead. Most importantly, i always think that everything would have a 'next time', whether its meeting up, texting to catch up on life, or showing concern for family and friends, sometimes even thinking that the other party should take the initiatives if they really want to.

I guess this dream is sort of a wake up call to me to learn to appreciate more in life before i lose another of my loved ones. And i wish that the next time it happens, whatever flashes right before me wouldn't be regrets anymore. So to anyone reading this, thank you for making a point to read my blog, bothering to try and find out what actually happens in my life.Goodbye for now, am gonna spend some time right now to text my love ones to tell them how much i appreciate their love for me.

XX, W.