Walls

Have you ever had to remind yourself to be careful not to let others near you to have a chance to hurt you? Always reminding yourself that you shouldn't leak out too much info or emotions so that people around you wouldn't know the truth that you are hiding inside. Reminding yourself not to let ppl know your weaknesses so that they won't be able to hurt you.

There will always be someone, coming into your lift at different point of times, claiming that they want to break down your walls and understand you better to treat you well. They choose to stay no matter how hard you try to push them away, asking for a chance to prove themselves to you to show you that they are capable of taking care of you. Doing all they can, putting in all the tiny thoughts and effort to show you that you are worth it.

Then as time passes, these thoughts and effort just seem to get lesser and lesser. The excuses increases, being busy, having more family commitments, too tired, instead of saying that they will try to arrange. From daily texts, calls and meet ups, it becomes a weekly then monthly thing instead. You miss out on each other's life so much that even when you spend time tgt, you don't know how to update each other, not sure where you stopped the last time. And then the both of you become quieter, and the distance between you become further, even if you're just sitting next to each other.

The emptiness between you two become greater, and you just try to hide because there's no point arguing, there's nth that seems to be wrong anyway, on the surface. And then everything just stops. Completely stopped. Then you remind yourself all over again that it's better not to let anyone tear down your walls, because when you try to recover next time, it'd be double of the scars you already have now.

And the cycle repeats.